


Heaven help a fool who falls in love

by evansrogerskitten



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Sad Sam, but if you're strict about that then come back, coda for 2.21, it's not even a spoiler really, minor spoiler for season 15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 09:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21425716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evansrogerskitten/pseuds/evansrogerskitten
Summary: Sam faces a new nightmare - remembering his first trip to heaven.
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Heaven help a fool who falls in love

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Fluff Bingo, Square filled: Afterlife AU (it's a hybrid.) and for Song Challenge Bingo, Square Filled: Ophelia by the Lumineers 
> 
> Please visit my Tumblr page to see the aesthetic.

When they finally make it back to the bunker Sam is beat. At least physically. He’s afraid to close his eyes and let the nightmares return. He expects to see red as he falls asleep, but instead he sees a different dream. 

But this isn’t a dream, it’s more than that - a memory. He knows he should remember this but it’s vacant, like a fog under anesthesia, details slowly fading back to him - maybe they angels wiped it. He looks down at the khaki shorts and red Cardinals polo shirt he’s wearing, his shoulder weighed down his backpack heavy with books. His eyes widen as he looks around.

Young people call out to each other across the quad, groups bunched here and there as they enjoy the sunshine between classes. A stressed professor brushes past - his constitutional law professor actually - and a pleasant breeze ruffles the palms overhead. Red camellia bushes pop against the stucco buildings and a dove coos from a nearby rosewood tree.

Stanford. In all its springtime glory. 

“Hey Sam!” 

He feels his heart thud hard in his chest at the sweet sound and wonders if it’s possible for it to break again. He spins around in search of her voice, looking down halls and through arched walkways, trying to find her. 

“Sam!” Jessica is jogging up to him. Jessica. His Jessica. Beautiful and glowing In jean shorts and a red t-shirt that matches his and she’s just so...she’s _everything_ he’s missed in his broken life. Cheer and comfort and love. Her blond hair literally looks like a halo with the midday California sun behind her. 

“I was calling for you but you kept going the wrong way.” She leans up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. 

“Jess.” Sam breathes out. He moves his hand to cup her cheek. “How are you...are you real?” 

Jessica giggles. “Well, yeah I am. At least, here.” She points to the wide open valley that appears as Stanford fades away. “This is heaven, Sam. At least, part of your heaven. It all changes, complicated and all that.” It’s still so cute how she rolls her eyes, the grin on her face never fading.

Sam pauses. “Wait? What?” 

Jess settles down amongst wildflowers and soft grass, the etymology textbook she had in her arms before is now replaced by a six pack of Bud Light. 

“Is this…” He looks around, recognizing the scene. A field of yellows dotted with pink and green, the ocean just a quarter mile down the path. This is where he told Jess that he loved her for the first time. “This is where I was going to propose.” 

Jess is silent as she waits for him to put all the pieces together. “Wait, I’m dead?!” 

“Well yeah, must be.” She shrugs, a sympathetic smile for his panic. “They don’t exactly give us a map around here. I’ve been at the beach and at my parent’s house and now I’m here with you.” 

“I’m dead.” Sam mutters as he sinks to his knees in the grass. “I can’t-” He closes his eyes, tries to remember. Dark, cold, wet. The old ghost town. Azazel’s other kids. Dean! and Bobby! Dean and Bobby are there but… Jake. And the knife. “Owww,” Sam groans, sliding his palm over his spine. There’s no blood on his Stanford shirt but he feels his mortal wound with the memory. 

“I died.” 

Jess plucks a dandelion from the ground. “I’m sorry Sam. That tends to happen before this all.” She points out to the field. 

“Oh my god, Jess.” Sam scoops her into his arms and holds her, and tries so hard not to cry. 

She shushes him, twirling her fingers into his hair like she used to. Sam hadn’t even noticed how much shorter it is here. “Shhhh, it’s going to be okay, Sam.” 

They lay in the grass together and talk, the sky a permanent pastel sunset, a warm ocean breeze moving through the valley. They talk about memories here and there but mostly they just hold each other. Neither of them brings up her death or what came after. There’s no need to talk about it in such a peaceful place.

Sam sits up as the field and sky around them began to tremble. He looks down at Jess is fear. “Now what?” 

“You don’t get to stay,” Jess sighs. Her summer shorts and t-shirt melt away as a white nightgown covers her lithe frame. “You’re have to go back.” 

“No! I want to stay here with you.” Sam buries his face in her neck. “Let’s stay here in the field and talk and drink beer and go to the beach and study on the quad and we can-” Sam was interrupted by Jess kissing him as softly as she did the last time he saw her. Before he left, before he got her killed.

“Jess,” Sam sobs into her blonde curls, still smelling of vanilla and sunscreen. “I miss you so much.” 

Jess nods, patting his back. She has no tears since she’s at peace now and she knows she’ll see him again. “Me too. But I’ll see you, Sam.” 

“When?” Sam sniffs as he pulls away and looks down at her. “I want to stay now.” 

Her hands cover his and she shakes her head. “No, baby. You still have years worth of living, of fighting left. I’m at peace. You have to know that.” 

All of a sudden the air around Sam’s body starts to tingle and then grow warm, hotter and hotter by the second until ironically he feels like he’s burning alive. He looks up at Jess as she takes two steps back, slowly fading with the sunset. 

“Bye Sam. I love you.“

Sam suddenly lurches awake, his scream shattering the silence of the Bunker. He shouts as the sheets constrain his legs, flopping over the mattress edge and onto the floor, landing hard on his back. “Ow!” 

“Sam?!” Dean comes running in, gun drawn. He’s still fully dressed and halfway through a bottle of cheap whiskey by now. 

“Sorry, was just a dream.” Sam tries to shake it away, hoisting himself back onto the bed. “Just a dream I think...”

“You alright?” Dean asks now that any potential threat is gone. 

“No, no really.” Sam and Dean look at each other for a long moment before the elder’s shoulders slump and he turns away, leaving the bedroom door half ajar. “Get some sleep, Sammy.” 

This time when Sam falls asleep he prefers the nightmares of red and evil. He doesn’t know if he could ever say goodbye to Jessica again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Do not copy and paste my writing anywhere without my consent. This work is property of evansrogerskitten. Characters aren’t mine, but this fanfiction is. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post.


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